I find courage in music. I listen for lyrics that put into words the feelings of boldness I need and have started collecting them.
The following piece was inspired by the chorus from the song “Fortune” by Soen. The words of this song speak deeply to my experiences and the places in my life where I have struggled to find light. Each section is a response to a single line in the chorus. I recommend that you listen to the full song first and then read.
The Inspiration:
A Reflection on "Fortune"
Listen carefully.
You’ve lived a long time without knowing this. I don’t expect you to figure it out right away or accept what I am going to say to you. But, I have faith that one day, you will understand. You will see the truth of this.
Happiness can be a real thing.
Two things, love. First of all, you are capable of being happy. You are worthy of being happy. It is yours for the taking or being. Secondly, it depends on you to make it happen though. You have to choose that. You have to fight for it. You can’t wait for the world to grant you happiness. It is yours to do.
Battles will still happen.
I did not say “after all the battles won.” The battles will be lost, and it is going to be okay when that happens. The ground will be littered again with the ragged pieces of your heart, confidence, and everything in you. But, still…
But, you are not alone this time.
Not just you, standing alone in that desolate place of loss. I will be with you. I will have my arms wrapped around you, holding your tired body up. When you cry that you can’t do it again, I will remind you of how strong you are, and we will believe again. You and me. We will believe in hope again.
And, it doesn't matter who knows.
I know you’ve been trying to make yourself heard and to push yourself out of the shadows. You still matter whether they know who you are or not. You still matter whether you succeed or fail. For you are not valued by what you can do or what your name is, you are valued because you are you. Uniquely and undeniably you.
Or, how many times you are in that dark place.
Yes, we are in that uncomfortable dark, scary place, and yes, we have seen this place before. But, this time, you are not alone. Turn on the light inside of you and see your way out of this. You may have to grope along the walls or crawl at times, but you will find that sliver of an opening and you will leave this dark place again.
You are doing fine.
You don’t have to be whole or put together at this point. You don’t have to have it all figured out. No one has it all figured out. To be crumpled up, torn to pieces, shattered…is to still have lived. Don’t forget that even broken stars still shine. Keep rising. Keep looking for joy. Keep holding on to your hope. You are okay.